The dictionary defines cellulite as 'lumpy fat deposits in the thighs and buttocks.' Doesn't cellulite sound just as lovely as it looks? I thought so. I have some rather bad news: Thanks to the way our bodies are made, women experience cellulite more than men do.

So now you're probably thinking, 'Great, yet ANOTHER problem we have to worry about and they don't.' You are absolutely correct, ladies. We always get the raw end of the deal, don't we? But here's the real question: Do you want to know how to get rid of cellulite? Of course you do. And it may be as simple as not eating certain foods.

You know just before you take a big bite of something, and you say, "This is going to go straight to my butt!" Those are the things you want to avoid.

Usually, that includes things like cake, cookies, sweets, sugars, foods that are high in saturated fats, and can include other things as well. Sounds like torture, doesn't it? I absolutely understand how hard it is to give up the good life, but ladies, we just have to be tough.

I do however have a suggestion for how to get rid of cellulite and not miss those things we love so much. Just substitute those yummy foods with other sinfully delightful vices. Buy a new Lexus. Take long hot baths. Go on a fling with a younger man. Buy jewelry dripping with diamonds. Buy a new wardrobe.

But here's the real challenge! We also have to work out. Cardio, aerobics and other workouts will shrink our fat cells and this is great for minimizing the appearance of cellulite.

Are you freaking out? Don't worry, I have a replacement ready! Two words, three syllables: Shoe shopping. Come on, ladies, we can do it. Now that you've learned how to get rid of cellulite, use your knowledge and whip your butt into shape.